Thursday, September 20, 2012


I am always amazed at the way my life goes sometimes.  How my belief that everything happens for a reason always plays out.  How often when I am at my lowest point, and feeling hopeless, confused or just plain sad---something happens to pick me up and let me know it really isn't me after all. 

I have been in a very painful altercation that involved what I had begun to think was a "safe" place for me.  It isn't so safe after all, mainly because there is still too much unknown and distrust.   I assumed something when I shouldn't have and we all know what happens when you assume.  The catalyst was essentially the meaning of the written word---namely the contents of an email.  I wrote that email without malice and used a phase that I thought was innocent but actually wasn't taken that way.  The more I tried to make it better, the worst it got.  I finally decided that I couldn't do anything about how someone interpreted a word, all I could do was try to make myself clear and after that it was no longer my responsibility.  I can only change myself etc.  That change included NEVER, EVER writing anything more than the very basic information in a email, particularly in the context of this group of people.  Lesson learned, lets move on.  Even though I came to an appropriate decision, based on validation from people I trust and  who are important to me, I still worried because it is hard to get over really mean words, that used this opportunity to say "what was really on their minds".

Now this brings me to what happened today.  Our oldest son has two Phd's---one in English and another in Philosophy, from prestigious universities, so I would consider him an expert in the written word.   He teaches in a large University system.  He called me this morning while in class and put me on speaker phone.  Guess what they were discussing-----the meaning of words, and how it is important to understand the context of those words.  How important it is to receive verification of their meaning--either through formal ways (like a dictionary) or through conversations with the speaker/writer.  That although the writer writes these words in a context, that context is specific to that person.  The reader receives those words, but in a context specific to them.  We hope that the context is the same, but given "where" the reader is, the reader's context becomes the important variable.  Both share a responsibility, but it is the reader who has the responsibility to get the true meaning, not the writer!   I feel vindicated!  Now, my son knows nothing about the "situation"----he is a literature expert---has the initials to prove it!  I am "truly blessed and highly favored"!

So what is on my schedule today?

This first----lots of work involving writing (I am going to read, re-read and get validation before publishing of course), reading, creating, figuring and planning!  Whew---I am tired just thinking about it---BUT.......

later---binding quilts.  Still work----but so much more enjoyable!

Have a great one---take care, and take time to "smell the roses".  It is getting cold outside and those roses will be gone before you know it replaced with snow!



  1. I am very much feeling where you are coming from. Your sons explanation sound a lot like what I learned in a creative writing class a few years ago. Be well and enjoy your binding. Binding means you're almost finished! Lane

  2. Have fun with your binding! It means you are almost there.
    And you know what I think on the other subject...the same as your son. He's a very smart man!! Look who is his mother!
    Love you and miss you girl friend!!

  3. Your discussion of the power of words reminds me of something Toni Morrison paraphrase her "i don't write for the lazy minded reader"


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