Wednesday, August 29, 2012


Now, normally I am a pretty private person with this blog.  I blog about quilting most of the time, although I am trying hard to loosen up a little.  I am finding out that you can blog about "personal" things, without sacrificing privacy.....there is also a time when you just need to vent---in order to go on.

A little about me---I am a really sensitive person.  I don't say that to be "self promoting" or to feel sorry for myself.  That is just the truth.  I "feel" things a lot.  Where some things that happen would be blown off by others, I react differently.  Even if it really doesn't hurt my feelings, often it will make me think and ponder the situation, probably way too much.  Especially since no one else in my immediate world seems to feel the same.  My husband is one of those guys who say, "if that is what a person wants to do, so be it (unless of course it hurts HIS feelings)".  He tells me that I feel too much, my daughter says I "care" too much (unless of course it is something SHE cares about).  As a result, if I get MY feelings hurt or are concerned about something, NO ONE around here wants to hear about it.  I just need to "get over it" so to speak, until of course their feeling are also fragile at the moment.

Having said this, this is the challenge I have facing me today.  Our oldest daughter is coming to visit.  She lives in Tacoma, Washington----about as far as you can get from TN and still be on the mainland of the US.  She moved there because her husband got a job there---that is another story for a later date.  She only comes home once a year and  I talk to her by phone about 4 times a year (she says she calls more, but I don't talk with her since she calls during the day---I have to work).  We have a good relationship (I guess) so there is no reason she stays away.  However, with her husbands family, she is always on some type of visit (at least it seems that way to me).  Certainly she sees her mother-in-law more frequently than she sees me (and she has to travel to get there as well).  I am very disappointed, that she is coming tonight (Wednesday) and leaving on Monday.  I don't understand why, since she only comes once a year, her visit can't be longer than 4 days.  I made the mistake of talking to my husband and daughter about it and of course, I am "being unreasonable, thinking only of myself,".......all the  @#$@#   they say when I am upset or concerned about something they are not.  I know that if something were to happen to me, this same daughter would be inconsolable.  I am going to hope that the Lord allows me one last thing before I get to go to his house and lets me smack her down hard.  She will fall on the floor, crying and people will think she is so sad, but actually it is because I gave her a little push!  Why cry when I am gone when you squandered all the opportunities we had when we both could have enjoyed them?   I love her and miss her and want to spend more time with her, what is so selfish about that?

Okay, I feel better.  I am going to do my usual, stay out of the way, smile, cook, tell her how great she looks, but if she asked me if I am upset cause she isn't staying longer (because she knows I am upset, she has already asked her sister if I have said anything), I will say "are you upset?".  She of course will say, yes (since she knows what my answer will be) and when she starts that stuff about her job, hard to take time off, etc.  I will respond that there is one thing I have learned, and I am sure she has as well, that if you think something is important, you will make it happen.   Since she only comes up once a year, and doesn't really stay that long when she comes, it must not be important to her.  If it isn't important to her, I can't really answer that question, since it is out of my control.

In the meantime, I am going to save money and make sure I don't have to depend on my children for anything should I need it. 

If someone stops by to read this today, please don't feel compelled to respond either way.  This is MY blog, and the one place where I should be able to feel what I feel, when I feel it, if I want to AND talk abut it if I want to, without worrying about anyone agreeing or disagreeing with me. there!


  1. You and I are on opposite sides of the same coin. My Mom makes it nearly impossible to want to visit because she makes it so unpleasant to plan and execute. She rarely comes here to visit and the last time she did, didn't see me for the first three days she was in town. I've found my peace with my predicament and do my best to expect as little as I can. I hope that you can find your peace as well. I have no advice to offer. But, I have great empathy for you. Be strong. Do what you can. Be who you are. Lane

  2. Since the weekend is over now, I hope things are better for you and it wasn't too bad. It's always a shame when individuals don't take the time to realize how much they hurt someone's feelings when they act like they do. Chin up, I know you do what you need to to get by and to deal with the situation. Just remember there are those that love to spend time with you and will always want to spend more. Hugs to you Sis...


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